what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
50% drunk capacity currently
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
