Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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