then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
