Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
