Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
