You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
