um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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