I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
