youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
