The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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