you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
