Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
