id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
