Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
