Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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