and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
