May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
