Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
