That's intense
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
