it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
