let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
