A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
