scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
