So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
