I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize