I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
