I'm jealous of your bromance
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Who died my cat blue again?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
