Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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