i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
