It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
