I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
