I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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