No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
only you would photoshop your dick
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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