drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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