My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
