I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize