My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
