he told me I talked like a deaf person
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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