Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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