she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ladies don't puke and tell
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
