Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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