his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
