You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
