Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
