North Korea, Best Korea!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
