Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I touched a dick in church today
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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