Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
