I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
