i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
did you just send me my own nude
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
