i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
