I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dignity is for republicans.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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