wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
