Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
