also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
