There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
