my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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