I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
