winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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