i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
