Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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