i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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