Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
