I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
