Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
