Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
