Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
