I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
