is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
