How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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